Aysus Jelly

Still being sore about not going to all state because of financial costs. Well I have valid excuse, not going to that mandatory rehearsal but yeah it’s whatever. I just wish I could’ve still gone. That’s one thing I know I rightfully earned, and now I can’t go forth with it. A great chance to be with talented people singing and playing… Man disappointed.

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There’s no point in telling the kid anything or anyone because they really don’t care about you. Good luck kid.

Everything I said I hoped I wouldn’t be, I have become.

Failure. Failure. Failure.
That is all I see in my mind. That is all I can think about. After a nice time… I can never run away from my problems. It only makes it worse. I just need to grow up from it. I’m going to take it. I am so mad at myself. Why did I wait so long.
I was praised as the golden child of the family, succeeding in mostly everything I did. Once high school started, I crushed in my shell an no longer did I see my point in life. Now it’s hindered me in everything I have done.
I’ll figure it out myself… But I was so close… I was so fucking close.
I’ll just suck it up.

Finally. Back to normal. Whew. I missed you.

It’s too late to take it back now….

I spoke too soon.
It takes a lot for me to own up to my mistakes like that. Just please accept it. I can’t go on like this anymore.

It’s not difficult for me to put you I the back of my mind. I’m just afraid that, this time if I do, I will end up forgetting you for good. And I really don’t want that.

I’m sorry, but I can’t think about it anymore. I just want to forget about everything. Please just let me do this.

As much as I don’t want to. It’s time once again to forget about you.

Another day without you. Gone our separate ways. This is how it’s always been, but why does it hurt so much?
Maybe because I’m the one who messed up this time. But if you do come back, please don’t hold out for too long.

Try my best not to cry today. Alright. You can do this!

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